I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
