I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize
