okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
