Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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