I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Randomize
