I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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