just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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