great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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