I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
