So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
