Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
3 2 1 whiskey
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
