If i come over, it means nothing
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
