Need sex. Gaining weight.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
