Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Randomize
