Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Acid is not a monday night drug
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
