Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
