Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
