I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
