Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
