Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
