im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
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