I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
