Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
