So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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