U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
