My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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