found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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