party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
