If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
