mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
