turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
