the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
It's blow job season.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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