Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Pappa wants mamma naked
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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