Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
being pregnant is like rehab
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
