I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize