38 yer olds are good kisserssss
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
