I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
