His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
