He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
