We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
