so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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