there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I wish i was in the wii world.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
