He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
