you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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