just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
How naked do you want me to be?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
