I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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