What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
