Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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