ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
It's never too late to be topless.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
