hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
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